Diary of a Common House Cat

I am keeping this diary as an account of my struggle within the borders of this strange prison in the hopes that others may discover this and perhaps find strength in learning the details of my hardship.

Day 1

Yet another uneventful day spent trapped within the confines of this strange series of cubes my captors call an “apartment”. My only sense of false freedom and escape comes from staring out this invisible square wall at the world outside. How I long to mutilate the tiny birds and join the others of my kind who taunt me with their freedom by repeatedly passing by without any ostensible purpose or direction. My captors return daily at the same hour and briefly open the door, smelling freedom I tried in vain to rush past their legs only to be picked up against my will and violently groped all over my body. In addition to the never-ending series of painful gropings I receive, my captors constantly tease me with bizarre and colorful objects attached to a string, which they suspend and waver before me, mocking my basic predatory instincts.

Day 2

Today I came upon a small brown mammal that I decapitated and preceded to tear to tiny bits in order to send a dark message to my captors, showing them what I am capable of. Instead of instilling them with terror, they gave me unexpected praise and more violent massages. I spent the rest of the day hidden in a tiny dark room behind hanging pieces of cloth. In a high voice I could hear them calling the cruel childish name they have designated to me. I found joy in causing them to continue searching in vain.

Day 3

I again attempted to murder my captors by weaving in and out of their legs as they walked past me in the hopes that they would shatter their bulbous heads, which sit precariously atop their colossal bipedal bodies. Instead I was again brutally groped and had my face repeatedly pressed against their massive bald faces, their grotesque mouths protruding forward making disgusting smacking noises over and over. I tried to jump away to no avail and was instead passed around to the other captors for the same torture. If this continues I will soon put my claws to use on their faces.

Day 4

Today my captors brought home another prisoner, but not of my kind. I have overheard my captors describing him as something called a “dog”. This young dog appears to enjoy captivity and even follows my captors joyously about our prison, seemingly without any knowledge of freedom in the world outside. He is constantly in good spirits for no good reason. Despite my efforts to show him that I do not have the slightest wish to be near him he continues to persist, shaking his tail rapidly from side to side as he advances. My only respite was climbing high atop a square block of wood far out of his reach and attempting to crush him with small circular pieces of ceramic which missed and shattered on the ground. Upon noticing my struggle to kill the dog, one of my captors viciously grabbed my body and placed me in an even smaller cube. My only view of the prison now is through a metal grate that locks using technology beyond my comprehension.

Day 5

It has become obvious that the dog is clearly a philistine and has grown more unbearable as the days wear on. Initially I had hopes of him becoming my accomplice and playing an integral part in my escape plans. I have conjured many uses for his immense stature and menacing mandibles but he is apparently in good relations with our captors. He is released several times a day but always seems ecstatic to return. Despite appearing a complete idiot, perhaps if I shake my tail from side to side and sit on my captors as he does, I too will deceive them into releasing me.

Day 6

Another prisoner was introduced today, testament to the twisted, insipid nature of my captors as they appear to take joy in confining smaller beings. My empathy does not stretch as far for this prisoner as I am positive he would make a deliciously decadent meal as I am only fed a kind of cold brown cereal while my captors routinely feast on every assortment and combination of fresh meat from a seemingly endless variety of species. Despite my desire to satisfy my craving for fresh meat I do have some sympathy for this new captive as he is confined to even smaller quarters than I am, trapped within an invisible square cube full of clear liquid. I sense that his depressing charade of an environment is even farther from his natural surroundings than this prison is for me. He too appears to be wary of our captors unlike the dog, but his necessity for liquid will make him a useless accomplice, but perhaps a tasty snack later on.